Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Life Up North

One of my favorite memories of growing up in Wisconsin was traveling up north to Chetek and my great-grandma's lake home. I was pretty young, so some of my memories may be jumbled, but these are events that stick out the most and I think they all include my cousin, Nicole:

  • going to the Miss Chetek pageant at the local high school
  • going to Ben Franklin with my aunt and cousin to purchase fake flowers and everything needed to have our own beauty pageant 
  • taking the canoe out and "accidentally" flipping it over in the middle of the lake (family was not happy)
  • calling my cousin porcupine legs because she shaved her legs (obviously not that well) and we had to sleep together and her legs rubbed up on mine
  • going to the street dance and digging for money in a pile of sawdust
  • watching the church lady on Saturday Night Live
  • watching the men butcher the fish they caught that would later be our dinner
  • betting that our family couldn't tell the difference between Nicole and I's handwriting...they told us to spell "guess" and I spelled "geuss". Fail. 
  • picking green beans at the neighbor lady's house
  • visiting the cemetery with my grandma and placing flowers on deserted graves
Ahh, good times. I reminisce because we will be there on Saturday. Not the same house but the same small town. I think back now about how much you take for granted when you are a child. What we would give to still have that property in our family, right on the lake! We'll be in a newer cabin and will still get to do all of the fun lake stuff. I wonder if I'll remember any landmarks there and how much it has changed. Now we can go out with the adults and experience what they did when we were wee ones :) I'll update with fun pictures on my photo blog (hopefully if the technology is available!). Most of all I'm excited to cool off! Have you walked outside today? Ick! It's 101 degrees, humid, and not even 11:00 a.m. 

I must clean the house for our house/dog sitter. Enjoy your day!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Fur Mommy and Daddy

On Sunday I went to an orientation for the Arizona Humane Society. Since the AHS and I are Facebook friends (haha) I knew that they were in desperate need for foster homes for their kiddos. I thought I would go see how we could help. Since we can't really get any more pets until we have a giant house with oodles of land, we could at least help out with some animals that needed it. The duration will be from a few days to a few weeks. If we happen to get an animal of a deployed service person, it could be far longer than that.  We signed up for kittens/cats and puppies/dogs (no ferrets or mice allowed!). They may be injured, too young, under-socialized, or may need to gain some weight (not hard to do in this house!). Once we get back from vacation, we are ready and open for foster parenting!

I'm a huge lover of the Humane Society and an advocate of adopting your animals from there. Considering we got both of our babies from the AHS, I know there are cute, lovable, forever pets there! Do not support those mall pet stores and even breeders! And get your pets spayed and neutered!

That is all. 

Anyways, today I sure wish I was at Warped Tour! Well sort of. There's really one band I want to see badly enough to endure the god awful heat for and I don't really have anyone to go with (people work, ya know?). Hopefully they are touring this fall!!

I'm getting excited for our vacation to Wisconsin on Friday. Ready for water, boats, thunderstorms, cool weather, etc. And of course to see family :) You know what else I'm excited about...babies and weddings! All over the place! 

Forgive me, I've had Starbucks today. First time in a while. 

Monday, June 28, 2010

When I Grow Up

I don't normally have this much time on my hands.

In the past, even when I was teaching, my summers were busy with classes, summer school, and second jobs. Since I decided to return to school, and since decided it's not exactly feasible at this point to be unemployed for two years, I've had a hard time playing that role. Okay, I have a job, but I'm not working full time and definitely not making the same amount of money. And I like to say my IQ drops 50 points when I walk in the door.

Anyway, when I learned that the nursing program I've been stoked about since January 09 was over (at the exact moment I was applying), I felt sort of bummed, sort of relieved. Bummed that I wouldn't be able to finish something I was really excited about but relieved that I could put my Masters Degree to good use and start contributing to this family! I'm very lucky I scored the job I wanted, especially due to all of the terrible education cuts and the state of Arizona right now.

I secretly like to be busy and work a lot, although it has been pretty easy to not have a 5 day work week and be able to sleep in. But I'm ready! I'm ready to wake up at 5 a.m.! I'm ready to pay off my credit cards! I'm ready to pay for dinner when we go out! I'm ready to go on vacation!

Technically I still have a few weeks left of this life before being a grown up starts again. I'm going to enjoy it and not feel guilty, because after all, I have a good 30 plus years of work left in me :)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Back in the Game

Hey. Remember me? I know, I know, I can't make up my mind. Do I want to write? Take pictures of my food? Take pictures of my day? Blog about my wedding? Well I've decided, yes, I want to take pictures of my day and yes, I want to write. I've always been a writer and it's hard to just take a picture and not explain it with a long, drawn out caption. And of course, who really cares about my life that much? I of course want people to enjoy my writings and pictures but it's so fun to go back and read these. They put me exactly in that moment.

The truth is, I can't sleep. I have so much on my mind. I'd rather sit in the dark and strain my eyes than attempt to fall asleep after an hour of tossing and turning.

After reading my last post, it's funny (?) I wrote about Jessie. It's the last time I saw her and a large part of my off and on sleeping problems. Jessie's been gone for nearly three months now and there isn't a day that hasn't gone by where I haven't thought of her. Those thoughts are usually accompanied by tears. I still cannot believe what happened and why. I don't think I or anyone else will and I'm having a hard time with that. I have no regrets about the last time I saw her; we hugged goodbye and said we loved each other. But of course all I think about is the last time I was in Flagstaff before she died, exactly a month before. I didn't see her. We stopped by her office and touched her name on the door. I texted her to come out. Why didn't I call her? Why didn't I let her know how much I really wanted to see her? Why didn't I ask her why we never received any RSVP for any of our wedding stuff? Why couldn't I have one last memory of her? I know I can't kick myself for the rest of my life about this. I know that I have to be at peace with what has happened and know that there is a reason. I just wonder how long that takes? And will I start to feel guilty when I start to feel at peace? And why do I feel so consumed with how I feel and not about her children and her family?

I'm sorry to be so depressing. A lot of that needed to come out somehow and it just happened to be through the keyboard. But that's what this is for, right? :)

I'll be back soon with happy thoughts, rainbows, and unicorns. Until then, see what I did today at .