When I Grow Up

I don't normally have this much time on my hands.

In the past, even when I was teaching, my summers were busy with classes, summer school, and second jobs. Since I decided to return to school, and since decided it's not exactly feasible at this point to be unemployed for two years, I've had a hard time playing that role. Okay, I have a job, but I'm not working full time and definitely not making the same amount of money. And I like to say my IQ drops 50 points when I walk in the door.

Anyway, when I learned that the nursing program I've been stoked about since January 09 was over (at the exact moment I was applying), I felt sort of bummed, sort of relieved. Bummed that I wouldn't be able to finish something I was really excited about but relieved that I could put my Masters Degree to good use and start contributing to this family! I'm very lucky I scored the job I wanted, especially due to all of the terrible education cuts and the state of Arizona right now.

I secretly like to be busy and work a lot, although it has been pretty easy to not have a 5 day work week and be able to sleep in. But I'm ready! I'm ready to wake up at 5 a.m.! I'm ready to pay off my credit cards! I'm ready to pay for dinner when we go out! I'm ready to go on vacation!

Technically I still have a few weeks left of this life before being a grown up starts again. I'm going to enjoy it and not feel guilty, because after all, I have a good 30 plus years of work left in me :)

Burst of Exhaustion!

Yeah, not energy. Ugh. 

Today is weird. It was like a giant rollercoaster of emotions between really the "last" day of school and a gazillion other things. Packing away all my stuff, an empty classroom, reading my yearbook notes from my students, spending a lot of money that needs to be spent but don't really have...yikes! I felt a headache coming on so I had a green monster and ran on the treadmill but wasn't feeling it. The headache never went away. After I made dinner I sat down and just wanted to sleep for days. My eyes were and still are sooooo tired. I'm hoping to make it an early night.

Everything is just kind of hitting me now. Even though school is done tomorrow I have to study for my midterm, start class on Monday, take the NET soon, worry about spending money wisely (or not spending)... it's my new reality! All these weddings (okay, 2) and travels are stressful! And I guess switching careers is pretty stressful for anyone so it's expected. I'll just have to learn to deal with it! 

Heading over to Mr. Wann's house tomorrow for a farewell and maybe to Pan Asia for a few sake bombs. I am making the commitment in writing that I will be at the library on Saturday. I MUST keep my A in Chemistry so I need to study down for my midterm since I will be starting classes Monday through Thursday and leaving for San Diego Friday. I've done pretty well this week with keeping up with house stuff so I won't be overwhelmed with that this weekend. 

Enjoying a glass of wine and hoping the DBacks don't falter again,

E. 

From one thankless job to another.

I decided to TRY to keep this to record my thoughts, challenges, discoveries, frustrations, and successes as I make one of the most stressful changes a person can make in life: career change.

I asked for a challenge, and boy am I getting one already! I am halfway through my first pre-requisite to enter the nursing program, basically an introductory biology course. It's so interesting yet so abstract to me at this point. I am busting my butt to understand it so I have a strong foundation. I took biology freshmen year I believe. Sure, I remember seeing these terms before but I can tell you I remember absolutely no concepts. I'm dreading the midterm I will be taking on Friday, with no security from my books or notes, just my brain. It's really just starting over fresh. Education/science...totally different!

On the same note, I'm singed up for classes through Fall 09. Of course I had to have my advisor override all of them because they require pre-requisites which I am either in the process of taking or will take right before. That means I have to pass them first! I don't want to get straight Bs! But then again that's better than straight Cs! I'm very determined at this point and want to do well for myself, my family, my future patients. It's all very overwhelming the further I get into it. I already see the late(r) nights, the neglect, the frustration. But then I envision going to work in scrubs and tennis shoes and there's my motivation right there. I have to apologize in advance to anyone near and dear to me for the next 2 years. Bare with me, please.

In the meantime, I am forcing myself to have some balance in my life. Including, but not limited to, baseball games, six packs, hikes, jogs, mindless tv watching, fiction. 

To sum it up, if I can get through this class unscathed, I can do the rest of it!